"Just tell me what to do!"

This is a common request from many who are new to spiritual direction. We long to have someone tell us what the "right" response/answer/decision might be. Some of us even long for the days when we were children and our primary decisions consisted of strawberry or grape jam on our peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Part of our growing and maturing is to be able to make these decisions rather than just following directions. If I'm honest, I've found that to be scary at times!

There are different approaches to spiritual direction that reflect the diverse spiritual traditions and gifts of their respective founders. While the main goal of spiritual direction stays the same—to guide individuals in their spiritual journeys and deepen their

relationship with the Divine—each approach offers unique ways of accomplishing it.

As an Ignatian spiritual director, I can provide an explanation of the difference between directive and non-directive spiritual direction:

Directive Spiritual Direction:

• In directive spiritual direction, the spiritual director takes on a more active and guiding role in the sessions.

• The director provides specific guidance, suggestions, and exercises to the directee (the person seeking spiritual direction).

• The focus is often on particular practices, such as prayer methods, scripture readings, or Ignatian exercises like the Examen or discernment of spirits.

• The director may offer theological or spiritual insights, interpretations of experiences, and structured plans for the directee's spiritual growth.

• This approach is more structured and goal-oriented, with a clear path and steps for spiritual development and might look a little more like life coaching.

Non-Directive Spiritual Direction:

• In non-directive spiritual direction, the spiritual director takes on a more passive and listening role.

• The director primarily listens, asks open-ended questions, and provides a supportive, non-judgmental presence for the directee.

• The emphasis is on the directee's own experience, thoughts, and feelings, allowing them to discern and express their own spiritual insights.

• The director refrains from giving explicit advice, solutions, or specific practices but helps the directee explore their own inner wisdom and connection with the divine.

• This approach is more open-ended and allows for greater freedom and self-discovery in the directee's spiritual journey.

In the Ignatian tradition, both directive and non-directive approaches can be used, depending on the needs and preferences of the individual seeking spiritual direction. St. Ignatius of Loyola's Spiritual Exercises, which are foundational to Ignatian spirituality, include structured practices and discernment techniques, making the tradition well-suited for directive guidance. However, Ignatian spirituality also values personal discernment and the directee's own relationship with God, which aligns with the non-directive approach. The choice between these approaches often depends on the unique circumstances and spiritual goals of the individual seeking spiritual direction.

In my practice of spiritual direction, I opt for the non-directive form. We often find that Spirit uncovers insights to the individual directee when we make room for listening and silence. Pushing back the noise, expectations, and hurry creates a hospitable environment for discernment. God meets us in these places in various ways, sometimes without answers, but always with patience and gentleness.